Thursday, January 27, 2005


The Cherest Show On Earth
Everett Events Center, Everett, WA

Sometimes when we are consumed by heartache, grief, or pain, we yearn for a Calgon-esque experience to grab and hold our attention temporarily so that our brains can rest. Cher is just the ticket. This is show #293 of her farewell tour. No, really.

The audience here falls into just a few categories: (1) women who announced to their husbands that they were going to see Cher and yes, we can count this as you taking me out even though I bought the tickets; (2) women whose husbands flatly refused the offer so they are here instead with their girlfriends and we are going to PAR-TAY! Yeah!; (3) beautiful gay men. I spot a few outlier hair-teased and provocatively dressed 30-something single gals on the prowl for, who? WHO? I will tell you right now that there is not one single straight man in this ENTIRE STADIUM.

A bunch of people use the opportunity of a Cher show to wear that sequined shirt / orange boa / backpack made of feathers / pleather platform stiletto boots that they never get to wear anywhere for very very good reason. Some men are in their goin' places shirts, but I suspect others are doodied up to impress their wives' friends. (Oh - so far Cher wins my wifebeater price index: 40 bucks!)

Cher floats down to the stage on top of a giant chandelier, singing a U2 song. It occurs to me that even though she's had this stupendous career, she only has a few actual hits that anyone remembers, so, covers. There are leisurely gaps between numbers for costume changes, dancer breaks, putting away the elephant, hoisting up the scarves, etc. By about song 7 people figure out that they have time to go out to the bathroom during breaks, so they sneak down rows butt-first to general hissing and consternation.

Several breaks are comprised of video montages of Cher's television and film appearances. I swear that woman must have been on TV 24 hours a day for the entire 1970s. The film montage is a bit weird - like it's either a pre-emptive edit for her upcoming Lifetime Achievement Award at the Oscars, or the piece that CNN will use when she dies.

Because the show is spectacular and production-heavy, she only performs 14 songs in 90 minutes. While some people leave the stadium rapt and happy, others complain that the editing in the video segments was too fast, the volume too loud (with the earplugs, people, how many times?), or the performance was "not as good as when we seen her last time in Seattle." But she is CHER, dammit, and therefore fabulous and un-dissable. And even better, she is a glorious jeweled reminder that we are just not that old, that there is still joy, and that we can recharge and take on another day.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess you really had to have been a Cher super fan to have even known she was on tour. I was also shocked to hear that she was performing in big city Everett? Is that a larger, or better venue than the Key Arena? Or had she gone hickville?

11:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did anyone ever tell you the 'Cher at Burning Man' story? She actually went one year. Hoooo!

I'm passing you around like crazy. Again, you've hit some sort of kick-ass stride.


9:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And putting away the elephant? Hooo!

9:38 AM  

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